Do you have something you would like to submit to sensorydecay? I'd imagine so. I have to ask these simple things of you before you go flying off the handle submitting things like you're of importance.

MAKE SURE your submission follows the following criteria:

• Has significant content. Spend some time on it. Don't just submit some two-sentence article. If you want to be lazy about it, then I'll just kick your ass right on outta here, bub.
• Is worthy of an audience. Would other people want to view what you have to offer? Be honest. Forget it, you're biased. Send it to 3 friends, and if they like it and your friends aren't either a) under 18 or b) retarded, you may proceed. No, your mom doesn't count as a friend. Three friends is all I ask. But if I find out you lied to me then I'll just kick your ass right on outta here, bub.
• Is original. Or at least credit the original creator. Don't toy with me here. This one, if broken, is grounds for disembowelment. Don't try and pull one over on me. If I catch you ripping-off someone else's work, I will twist off your head, mark my words. Mark them.

That's all I ask. Just those three things. If you're going to go through this much trouble to submit something, then I'll bet you can do these three extra things for me. If you can't, then I'll just kick your ass right on outta here, bub.

By submitting anything, you agree to the previous requirements. You agree to the previous requirements. Agree to the previous requirements. Agree. Do it. Nod your head in agreement before proceeding. I'm going to need to see more nodding.

I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND WOULD STILL LIKE TO SUBMIT: